Ruin-it-Yourself Wonky Tablecloth

We moved about a year ago, and prior to the move we bought a new table.  We’re temporarily living in another country, so we left big stuff in storage in the good ol’ USA and bought smaller items to use overseas.  In less than a year, our table has gotten pretty beat up.  I’ve been telling myself I need to keep tablecloths on it so when I kick the bucket, my kids can fight over who gets to keep the *pristine* looking table they grew up with.  I know, I’m a little nuts.

My Mother's Day Flowers are sort of dying, but still make me happy.

The problem is, the only tablecloths we own are  the wrong shape.  I actually acquired them when we had a death in the family (Is that weird?  They were free!).  Anyway, I was pretty proud of myself when I actually bothered to measure our table and order a correctly-sized tablecloth.  HOWEVER, I wanted a “fitted” tablecloth with snug corners that wouldn’t slide off when my dogs got a little too sniffy with my dinner (like this, from Smashed Peas and Carrots).  I tried to find one to order online from Amazon and Esty, but couldn’t find what I wanted.

I was pretty excited that Smashed Peas and Carrots actually had a DIY tutorital on how to make exactly what I had in mind.  Neat!  Except I ruin DIY projects AND I can’t sew.  No problemo, though.  I had a plan.

First, I had to remove all of the stuff from my scratchy table in order to put  on my BRAND NEW tablecloth that I ordered JUST FOR THIS PROJECT.  That’s when I realized that newspaper was a week old, the registration paper for one of my Girl Scouts has been there for like 4 days, and my flowers are dying.  Oh well!  People actually *live* here at Blue Palm Manor (what I have affectionately named our home, details to come later).

I picked up that cool wooden thing a couple of years ago in Dakar, Senegal. We love wooden carved randomness.

Normally on the rare occasion that we buy something decorative for our house, we buy it in a maroon/burgundy color.  This was totally out of the norm, but I thought it was pretty cool and cheery.  Plus, it was our wedding color and we had a sweet cake with Mickey Mouse on top and fun stripes in this color.  We’re only pretending to be grown ups.

Hi, Erika! You cute, Clutterholic, you.

Oh, look.  My new tablecloth is wrinkly.  Normally I wouldn’t give that a second thought, but since I’m going to be altering this tablecloth I needed to get those babies (mostly) out.  Good housewives would iron.  I decided to just throw it in the dryer.  That’s when I discovered the sheets I washed over a week ago (much like the week old newspaper still on the table).  Yes, apparently it’s been longer than a week since I’ve done any other laundry.  That’s the Clutterhome way.  Instead of folding them nicely, I opted to toss them on top of the dryer.

I really like flannel sheets. Especially when they're the right color so dog hair is less visible.

Ok, so here is where I attempt a DIY tutorial on a totally slacker way of making a square edged fitted tablecloth.  Bear with me, I have no DIY skills.

You want to fold and pin the corners so the tablecloth sits nicely without all of that excess flappy stuff showing.  I guess it’s kind of like making hospital corners on a mattress, or maybe how some people wrap presents.  That’s the best way I can describe what I was going for.  Before you do this, you might want to actually iron out the wrinkles (the dryer didn’t work, but I just left ’em there).  You also might want to spend some time making sure your tablecloth is centered.  I certainly didn’t bother.  I have the patience of a turnip, but I’m cool with that.

Anyway, fold each corner like this:

If you're picky, spend a lot of time doing this so it's nice and straight. I spent about 5 minutes doing it, and you'll see why that's not a good idea in a bit.

Pin those puppies so it will hold in place when you remove the tablecloth and transfer to your ironing board.  Oh yeah, preheat your iron.  Or, do it like Erika and take time to do that after pinning and eat some ice cream while you wait.  Turn on some awesome country music and sing to yourself, too.

Side note:  I don’t actually own pins.  I had to find one of ClutterHusband’s unopened dress shirts and grab a bunch from there.  I’m not domestic enough to own cool things like straight pins for crafting, so I just made do.

So here is where I get lazy.  I can’t sew, so I use iron on hem tape.  Basically, it’s tape that you cut to size and when you put it between fabric and apply heat, like MAGIC it gets sticky and holds everything together.  You wanna stick pieces all-up-in your corner and iron it so the glue activates and everything holds together without the pins.

I was getting super impatient here. Stopping to take pictures almost didn't happen, but I thought Photoshopping pretend tape in would be *much* harder.

Apply some heat and make those corners stick!

I'm not normally this fat. That cute little bump is Logan. He's going to be quite the spoiled ClutterBaby here in couple months.

And like MAGIC, I had a finished product that was kind of like what I had in mind!  It stays put and doesn’t slip and slide around, which was the ultimate goal.  Beauty wasn’t the primary objective, so I wasn’t very careful.  The sides aren’t even, but I don’t care.  I achieved my goals; count it!

Ignore the cotton on the floor. A ClutterDog destroyed a toy earlier. The other ClutterDog also left those sweet smudges on the window . . . he likes to stand on the sill and rub his nose all over the place. There are worse things in life than fluff and beagle boogers, though. ❤

Oh, and before you get to thinking that I’m full of lies and deceit when I claim that I ruin all DIY projects, please let me show you my wonky corner that just didn’t quite work out for me.  But, it’s totally hideable AND my tablecloth stays put so we’re just gonna roll with it and use it as a reminder of why people like me should really just order handmade things from Etsy instead of attempting it themselves.  But in all seriousness, I’m glad it’s not perfect.  It’s got a little character and charm, right?  And if it was done properly and looked half decent, well that just wouldn’t be the Clutterhome way!

We'll just put this in the most unseen corner. No worries!



Filed under Ruin-it-Yourself Projects

3 responses to “Ruin-it-Yourself Wonky Tablecloth

  1. Pingback: RIY Purchasing Paint Supplies |

  2. The table looks so modern now! And no one will notice the wonky corner 😉

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